I mean, most of you already know that I watch a handful of ridiculous daytime programming. There's no denying my love for Regis & Kelly (but mostly Reege) and the delicious drama of The View. I frequently catch Ellen's interviews on YouTube, and back in the 90s I would rush home from school to catch The Rosie O'Donnell show (remember when she was fun, played "How Bizzare" at the push of a button, and shot kooshballs into the crowd?). Little did I know things had yet to get even worse.

During my 3-week stint of unemployment, I became addicted to...*awkward pregnant pause*...no not cocaine-or alcohol. The other dangerous fix I feel many unemployed/retired/or stay at home bodies succumb to at some point. *sigh* Soap Operas.

Ok, let's be clear about this. It's only ONE soap in particular. (All My Kids)

See, because of my ridiculous nature, I'm sure none of you are surprised in the least that I would be watching a soap (or that I would already have a nickname for it slash a couple of the actors..okay, and characters). It must seem like a natural thing that everyone already assumed I was into.

But thus far in my life, I have never been drawn to this particular genre of drama/hilarity. (J2k falls into an entirely different category, trust). I guess there was that one summer where Kayla and I went to her grandpa's house every day during lunch break from Driver's Ed, where we watched General Hospital. But even then, that was her addiction not mine.

So a few weeks ago, I was at home, bored, unemployed and trying to think of a way to waste the hour of time I had between The View and either Oprah or Ellen. A soap had come on, and I briefly considered leaving the channel where it was. I wasn't much feeling like watching the tv guide channel for an hour, and then La Lucci herself appeared on screen and I decided, yes, I would give this a try. I mean, of all soaps, this one must be one of the better shows, right? It had the legendary Susan Lucci whom everyone knows, regardless of whether they watch daytime or not.

For the next three weeks I watched All My Children almost daily. This past week, having started two new jobs I felt grateful, hoping that now, with my days filled, I would be free of the hold Pine Valley had over me.

I was wrong. After getting home at around 10 o'clock some nights, I was still drawn to find out what had happened to the characters I was most invested in, and (unfortunately) by magic of the internets (and crazed soap fans) I was always able to see the latest episode on YouTube.

Only upon this discovery things got only worse. For I also found during my search, that not only were the most recent episodes up, but fans had episodes of this damn series from 5-10 years ago uploaded!!!

I literally spent like 6 hours straight catching up with years of All My Children on Friday night.

W. T. F.

Where does one go from here?

How do I move on? Or must I just embrace La Looch (and her merry band of crazy co-horts) and be that rascally old grandma in 40 years telling her grandkids to pipe down, cause Grannie Steph's "stories" are on.

My Space
My Tube
My Demo Reel