So, last night I attended my first "Take Back the Night."

I am amazed by women. I've never really felt like I belonged to a "community" of women, but last night I definitely felt it. I felt every woman sitting in that room. I felt their anger. I cried their tears. I felt the amazing outpour of compassion and support for eachother, and the strength that filled the room. The strength of women amazes me. I've always known the power and strength of one woman that is not only awe-inspiring, but life-altering and is the reason I am who I am today, but that collective strength of multiple women joinging together....was just...incredibly moving.

At first, while listening to some of the speakers, I felt incredibly proud to have helped (what little I did) organize this years event, and couldn't believe that I'd never been to one before.

Then listening to the final speaker, I was outraged. As she talked, it became so directly apparent that I wasn't happy to be there. I was pissed off that anyone was there. There is absolutely no reason why today, in 2008, such an event should even exist.

How is it possible that we live in a society that permeates hate and violence toward women? We LIVE in it. Every second of every day, human beings are beaten, raped, and killed, undergoing some of the worst possible human rights violations, solely because they belong to a the sex that has been deemed (by men) insubordinate? What. The. Fuck.

Who the hell do these people think they are, and why would ANYONE feel like they had the right to treat another person so badly? Never have I felt so affected by the oppression of women, in our society, and in societies all over the world, today and throughout all of history.

After the general session was over, and the women and men (yes, there were men there, thank god. They need to be a part of this too. It is NOT a "women's issue". It's a women's problem, and men need to be involved in fixing it) broke out into confidential discussion groups. This was the difficult part. Sitting across from faces I see all the time on campus, even sat in class with, and hearing them speak about having had some of the most unspeakable crimes committed against them.

Over 50 people attended (which is one of the best turnouts yet for this event), and almost 7 out of the 16 women who stayed to join the discussion group had a story that they shared. For many of them it was the first time they'd ever said anything to anyone, and I'm damn sure that there were more people in that room that could have shared a story relating to their own life, because I sure could have and I chose not to speak up.

Not only was I in awe of the bravery of these women, sharing some of the worst possible moments of their lives, I was in disbelief. I go to school with these women, but I also go to school with their rapists and abusers. I sit in class with them as well. I interact with them. Daily.

To sit in a room, and hear these stories from real people, people you've seen or talked to before sitting there in front of you, makes it all incredibly real. Unbearably real.

Everyone could tell you a story about how violence has affected their lives.

When you think about the fact that we are so conditioned to seeing and accepting violence in our society, that we hardly give a second thought to hearing statistics about it--let alone actually hear them at all, it only makes it even clearer how ridiculously prevelant and standard these acts are.

This has got to stop. All of it. Women are the largest minority group facing discrimination. The fact that women are even considered a minority, when we in fact populate over half our species, is ludacris to me.

It's only one night a year, but every second of every day people neeed to know that rape is wrong. Molestation is wrong. Domestic violence is wrong. Stalking is wrong. Sexual harassment is wrong. Street harassment is wrong.

One of the speakers mentioned a recent study that was done among college age women and men, and 80% of the men who had committed rape, didn't actually think they did! How the hell does that happen? That people have no idea what constitutes rape or not? Let's make THAT part of our national dialogue.

I don't care what Barack Obama's preacher said. I don't care what color Hillary Clinton's pantsuit is. However, I do care that John McCain voted against an equal-pay-for-women bill. Douchebag. Let's talk about that!

Apparently the Missouri state legislature just got rid of an item in a bill that would provide $1 million to fund rape kits and counseling, instead offering a total ZERO dollars. A senator actually said, "You can't feed all the cows."

Guess what, jackass, the money ISN'T for livestock, it's for human beings. Plus, I'm sure they spend at least twice that much a year on farm funding and actual cows.

However, all that being said, no matter how infuriated I am, I am also encouraged. Encouraged by all of the strong women around me who know exactly what it is to know complete and utter hopelessness, but who are survivors anyway.

Furthermore, don't take this as an anti-male, man-hating, feminist rant either. I love men. I'm sacrificing what may be my only opportunity to vote for getting the 1st female president in office, in hopes of getting who I think happens to be the right man for the job right now. I'm actually considering raising one eventually in the future (hopefully to be much less of an asshole than this generations average guy).
There have been plenty of times in my life where I felt I could identify with them more than women. I was raised the total tomboy, and what women there were in my family were probably more masculine than than the dudes--which is probably why this community of women thing is so new and refreshing to me.

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